Unpredictable
by LolitaLexi
Summary: A sudden passion has awakend in Joker, he's taken a little more interest in Harley tonight. Is it just that new perfume, or maybe something a little more unpredictable?


Unpredictable

Rated M-Sexual content

Couple-Harley/Joker

Joker sat at his desk half asleep on a pile of failed plans. He muttered to himself "Useless, tacky, overdone, cheesy, not funny…too much…" He paused and sniffed the air. "HARLEY!" He called to his Hench wench. She popped up right in front of his desk and he nearly jump five feet. "What is it puddin'?" She rested her head on the desk. "Harley, what is that smell?" He said rearranging himself. "Oh you mean this?" She pulled out a crystal bottle and sprayed her neck. He grabbed the bottle from her hand. "This isn't some aphrodisiac flower spray from Ivy is it?" He said with an angered gaze. "No! It's just some nice perfume I got from this expensive high end place!" She said jumping up on the desk grabbing the bottle. "How'd you afford it? Don't tell me you were flying solo!" He said with his palm on his face. "Well, um Mistah Jay, I kinda, sweet talked my way to get it." She twiddled her thumbs.

He stood up pound the desk with his fists "Exactly who were you sweet talking? Not that I would care it doesn't matter to me!" He said walking off. She started to panic and jump towards him. "Oh Puddin'! Don't be mad at me! I only wanna get sweet with you!" She latched on like her life depended on it. He paused for a moment and turned around and sniffed her neck. "Peppermint, vanilla, and…evil. I, like it." He turned back and continued walking off. Harley threw her hands around his neck and embraced him rubbing her chest on his back. "Oh Mistah Jay! Stay with me!" She squeezed tighter. Joker turned and grabbed her breasts. "Are these bigger? They are really big." He squeezed them.

Harley gasped and giggled slightly. She stood trembling enjoying it. "Mistah Jay!" She squealed. "I'm serious Harls, they're like, two beach balls filled with," His squeezing was interrupted by Harley "Filled with puddin!" She chuckled. He gave her an annoyed look. She quickly came up with a better excuse. "I mean bat blood!" He looked her in the eye and let out a loud maniacal laugh. "Ha-ha! Yes Harley! And I'm the vampire that's gonna suck it all out!" He backed her into the desk and jumped on her. "Puddin! What's gotten into you! I like it!" She let out a delighted chuckle. "I can tell, your excited! Just look at them!" He said examining her nipples. "No! Its-its just freezing in here! Ill go close that window!" She hopped up and went to the open window examining the falling snow through the Gotham night. Joker walked up behind her and scraped some snow off the side of the building and wiped it across her chest.

She jumped "Mistah Jay! That's cold!" She tried to hide her nipples peeking through her clothes. "Allow me to warm you up my sweet!" The Joker chuckled closing the window. He opened his drawer and grabbed a roll of heavy-duty black tape. "I'll warm you up alright!" He said throwing her on the desk. She grabbed the perfume that she left on the desk and began to spray herself like crazy. He walked closer unrolling the tape and inhaled the air. "Mmm! Cant get enough of that!" He shouted mounting her. He caressed from her thighs, up her stomach, between her breasts and licked her neck. Harley quivered beneath him. He rolled Harley on her stomach and taped her hands together. "Get on your knees darling, your gonna blow something, and I don't mean my plans!" He laughed at himself , Harley laughed along with him.

He unzipped his pants and revealed his throbbing member to her. "Mistah Jay…that's a big cock…" She said her mouth gapping open. He eased his hands to Harleys' breasts and ripped off the cloth. "Just like these, those are some big *bubs*!" He said holding out his member. She looked to his eyes and then down at the big monster in front of her. She licked her lips and licked the tip of the gigantic organ. She eased the rest of her mouth around it and licked it sucking every inch. "Oh yes Harley! My little minx! Really give it to me!" He gasped, grabbing her head and thrusting it on his pulsing member. She sucked harder and faster and then he back out of her mouth and cummed on her face and breasts and then rubbed it around. "Harls, what can't you do? My little crime princess!" He laid a slobbering kiss on her mouth smearing her lipstick and face paint. "Harder than a rock Harley!" He said examining himself.

"Your turn Harley!" He said placing her on the desk. "Ohhh Mistah Jay!" She moaned. He ripped the rest of her clothes off. "Wow Harls, your so wet I'm surprised your not drowning!" He examined his wet fingers. He went down and started licking her down. "Ugh! More! Ohh!" Harley moaned. He paused and looked up. He burst into laughter then went back to licking. Harley was writhing from laughter and Jokers tongue. It danced on her flesh like fire. She struggled with her hands tied.

She moaned and gabbed onto his back and then she released her self. "Jezz Harls, you squirted all over me!" He said wiping Harleys liquid off him. "Oh Puddin! Your amazing!" Harley groaned. "It's not over Harley, I got a real stiffy down here and no where to put it! We could fix that!" The Joker laughed as he taped Harleys ankles to the legs of his desk. "Alright Harls, ready for me to 'plug in'? Hahaha!" He laughed as he thrust himself inside of her. "Oh Mistah Jay! Your huge! Gimme more!" She begged. "Alright Harley, revving up the voltage! Hehahaha!" He called in her ear as he thrust harder and harder then faster and faster. Harley twisted beneath him in pure rapture.

"Ohh Mistah Jay! Give it to me!" She begged moaning and wiggling on the desk. "Alright Harley, here I 'cum'!" He burst into laughter and release his hot liquid in her. "Ohh Mistah Jay! Your amazing!" She said starry eyed. He took out a pair of scissors and cut the tape. He threw them on the ground and walked to his room.

"Where you going? Mistah J?" She called still sitting on the desk. He walked into his room and slammed the door shut. Harley jumped and whined to herself. She walked to her room, closed the door, and collapsed on the bed in a pure tizzy of girly giggles. "It worked!" She squealed to her self. She buried herself under her sheets and pillows and fell asleep with a smile.

The next morning she woke up and saw Joker at his desk scheming. She wasn't going to bother him. She made him a cup of coffee, placed it on his desk and walked out. Joker looked up and whispered to herself "Crazy kid!".

Harley walked in plain clothes, and her pigtail a mess. She walked to Ivys' apartment! She buzzed the bell. She yelled into the call box "PAM! LET ME IN! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!" Her happiness was almost sickening. Pam came down to meet her.

"Harley, what got you all jumpy?" Ivy said confused. "It worked! Your crazy plant serum! It worked!" Harley squealed hugging Ivy. "You didn't use it on Joker did you?" She said concerned. "Well of course I did!" Harley danced about. Ivy rubbed her temples "Harls, that's not only an extremely powerful aphrodisiac, but effective exposure can cause unpredictable erections for about a week!" Harley suddenly paused "Crap!" Ivy started to laugh a little "Oh jeez Harley!" She grabbed her shoulder. Then suddenly Harleys cell phone rang. She reluctantly pulled it out. The little clown charm jingled. She looked at the I.D., it read **MISTAH J.** Harley opened it looked in sheer terror at Ivy and answered "Puddin'?" Then all at once Jokers voice boomed from her phone so loud you could hear it across town.

"HARLEY! WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES DID YOU DO TO MY *JOHNSON*!"

Harley look to Ivy and shut her phone "Um Red? Do you think I could hang over here for about a week?"

*Bubs*-Twenties slang for breasts

*Johnson*-Twenties slang for penis


End file.
